Craziness?!

I am seriously stressing out! On the one hand I have this heavy load of schoolwork, which to be honest, I never really stress over, until it's due and I'm stressing about how to get it done.  I am seriously under tons of pressure because I am moving out with some friends and once I graduate I need to get on the ball and get a dang job (which I kind of have options, plus, people hire me cause
of my awesomeness anyways), so I don't really think I will have a problem there, and driving from Big Sur to school 3-4 times a week is crazy, even though I used to do it daily, plus there are non-stop projects at El Shopo Del Gregorio, lol, me and my best homie are always working on a car...I almost feel like I'm stretched a bit thin, but to be honest, I am not as stressed about any of this as I really think I am, I can deal with it, it's easy, it's no big deal...but dang, there's something that is really stressing me out, it's like there is a time limit on something I am trying to accomplish, there's something with a shelf life that I need to take care of, and every time I get close, it eludes me...every time it seems like the time is now, the cat and mouse begins again...

They always said nothing in life worth doing would be easy, why does it come so easy to others...I know people that don't have to work this hard for what I am after, papercuts and lime juice hurt less than uncertainty does, and it is because of this uncertainty that I am extremely freaked out.  With school, I will know if I messed it up, I will fail a class because I didn't do my homework, or didn't study for an exam, with jobs, if I don't get it, it will be because my resume isn't beefy enough, my interview not tidy enough, etc., etc.  But with this...this...thing, I might just fail because I wasn't in the right place at the right time, because I didn't have enough time, hell, just something I say or do will screw this up and I will never know...that stress, that uncertainty, yeah, that's what's bugging me...that's what is eating me up inside...that ladies and gents, is probably one of the more important things in my life right now...I need this, I want this...and I'm fighting till my last breath for it...here's hoping it's worth it...

-Shawn Petros